Mediation and counseling are both forms of dispute resolution and support, but they differ significantly in their processes, goals, and roles of the professionals involved.

Mediation:

Definition: Mediation is a structured process in which a neutral third party (the mediator) helps two or more parties in conflict to communicate more effectively and reach a voluntary agreement. The mediator does not make decisions for the parties but facilitates dialogue and negotiation.

Goal: The primary goal of mediation is to help the parties resolve a specific conflict or dispute. Mediation is typically used in situations like legal disputes (e.g., divorce, workplace conflicts, business disputes, or family issues).

Process: The mediator creates a safe space for open communication, encourages understanding of each party’s perspective, and helps identify potential solutions. The mediator remains neutral and does not take sides.

Outcome: Mediation can result in a mutually agreed-upon resolution or compromise. The outcome is typically a written agreement, but this is not always legally binding unless the parties choose to formalize it. It can help in small issues and large.

Focus: The focus is on resolving the issue at hand, improving communication, and helping the parties find common ground.

Counseling:

Definition: Counseling involves a therapeutic relationship between a trained professional (the counselor or therapist) and an individual or group. The counselor helps clients address emotional, psychological, or behavioral issues and personal concerns.

Goal: The goal of counseling is to help the client understand and cope with emotional struggles, mental health issues, life transitions, or other personal challenges. It is often used for individuals, couples, or groups dealing with trauma, grief, anxiety, depression, relationship issues, etc.

Process: Counseling is typically more in-depth, focusing on personal growth, emotional well-being, and mental health. The counselor works to help clients gain insight into their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, often using various therapeutic approaches (such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, talk therapy, or psychodynamic therapy).

Outcome: The outcome of counseling is usually emotional healing, improved mental health, and coping strategies. In some cases, counseling may help clients address specific issues (like addiction or trauma), but it is not typically focused on resolving a single dispute like mediation is.

Focus: The focus is on personal development, emotional support, and mental health, rather than on resolving a specific external conflict.

While both mediation and counseling involve helping people through difficult situations, the main difference is that mediation is about resolving conflicts, and counseling is about addressing personal emotional, psychological, or behavioral challenges.

What are your credentials to be a mediator?

I am a registered general civil mediator in the state of Georgia. I received my education from Kennesaw State University. I am also a certified paralegal, receiving my education from University of Georgia. I keep current through continuing education each year. You can find me on Georgia Office of Dispute Resolution, under “Find a Neutral.”

Is the meeting confidential?

Without a doubt. Anything we discuss, and any item I review, will remain completely confidential. Nothing we speak about can be used in court. I cannot be subpoenaed if things were to go to court for whatever reason in the future. All notes I take will be destroyed in front of you when we end the meeting. The only exception with this would be if any sort of issue with abuse is brought up or suspected.

Where will the meeting take place?

All appointments are conducted on Zoom. This means you can attend in the comfort of your own home or wherever you choose to be. We may be discussing things that you do not want others to hear, so just be mindful of privacy when choosing your location. I will email you the Zoom meeting link the night before your appointment. If you prefer not to have the meeting through Zoom, then just let me know and I can make arrangements.

We will be in the same “room” while discussing the issue/issues. Any one of us can choose to go into caucus, which is just a fancy word for separate rooms. I can make this happen on Zoom, as well. Our goal is to be in the same room, though. This helps with long term conflict resolution and communication.

What should I bring?

Whatever you feel will help in finding a solution to your issue at hand; this could be anything from documents, notes, bills, grades, etc. Bring anything you feel adds to the conversation. Also, an open mind to consider other perspectives and solutions. Other than that, nothing. My advice is to be comfortable and relaxed, so if that means a blanket and a cup of coffee, bring it.

How much does it cost?

The appointments are $200 an hour. When going through court mediation proceedings, they ask that per party. I only charge $200 per couple. No other fees or hidden costs. It can be paid through Square or Venmo.

How long will it take?

This is a tricky question because it honestly depends on your issue and how big and detailed it is. I would say a normal mediation to cover an issue between husband and wife, or parent and child, usually takes a couple of hours. This is not always the case. It could be shorter or longer. I just find that’s a good average estimate.

Can you do divorce mediations?

No. I am a general civil mediator. I can take your case to work through issues, or even court appointed mediation, as long as I am not dealing with divorce or parenting plans in custody disputes. I believe in the importance of family staying together, so I focus on supporting the family and finding the answers that work for both parties.

Do you offer mediation for other relationships, not just couples?

Absolutely! I can help with child-parent issues, co-workers, other family members or even friends. If it’s a relationship of any kind that’s struggling with an issue, I can help!

Is only one of us going to “win?”

Mediation doesn’t focus on who’s right and wrong, winning, pointing blame, or choosing a side. We focus on the future and not the past. The goal is to come to a mutual agreement that benefits each person. Both parties will have equal input on coming up with a solution that works best for you both. Hopefully, you will also walk away with skills in learning how to better communicate when trying to resolve an issue in the future.

Can you give legal advice?

No. I’m not an attorney. I am a certified paralegal and registered neutral mediator, both of which are not allowed to offer legal advice. I can definitely help you work through your disputes, even be your court appointed mediator, but you don’t want me to give you legal advice. Lawyers are trained to have a deep understanding of the physiology of law.

Can you give psychology advice?

No. I am not a trained psychologist or psychiatrist and am unable to offer advice or prescribe any sort of medicine when it comes to mental health, trauma or other related issues. Mediators focus on the resolving the problems, not the people.

10 reasons why mediation works:

Mediation works for several reasons, all of which center around the process's ability to foster effective communication, mutual understanding, and collaborative problem-solving. Here are some of the key factors that contribute to its effectiveness:

1. Neutral Third Party Facilitator

Role of the Mediator: The mediator is neutral and impartial. Unlike a judge or arbitrator, the mediator doesn't make decisions or impose solutions. Instead, they create a safe and structured space where each party can express their views and concerns without judgment. This neutrality helps ensure that both parties feel heard and understood, which can reduce tension and conflict.

Trust Building: Because mediators don’t take sides, parties may feel more comfortable discussing their issues openly, which can lead to more productive dialogue.

2. Empathy and Active Listening

Understanding Perspectives: Mediators encourage active listening, where each party must pay attention to the other's perspective without interrupting. This often leads to a greater understanding of the underlying issues in the dispute, as well as the emotions and motivations driving the conflict.

3. Focus on Interests, Not Positions

Problem-Solving Approach: In mediation, parties are encouraged to focus on their interests—the underlying needs, desires, and concerns—rather than their initial positions (the specific demands or solutions they may have proposed). By focusing on interests, mediation opens up more avenues for creative and mutually beneficial solutions.

Finding Common Ground: The mediator helps the parties explore solutions that address the interests of both sides, which increases the chances of finding a win-win solution, rather than having one party "win" at the expense of the other.

4. Empowerment of Participants

Voluntary Participation: Mediation is a voluntary process, meaning that all parties must be willing to participate. This sense of autonomy and control over the process often increases engagement and commitment to finding a solution.

Self-Determined Outcome: Unlike court decisions or arbitration, where an external party imposes a solution, mediation allows the participants to craft their own resolution. This makes the outcome more likely to be acceptable to all involved, as they have a direct hand in shaping it.

5. Confidentiality and Privacy

Safe Environment: Discussions are confidential. This creates a safe space for parties to share sensitive information and express concerns they might not feel comfortable disclosing in a public or formal setting like court. The confidentiality also ensures that any statements made during mediation cannot be used against a party later in legal proceedings, which can encourage more open communication.

Reduction of Fear of Consequences: Since the process is private, parties may feel less threatened by potential negative consequences or judgment from others, enabling more honest and productive conversations.

6. Cost-Effectiveness and Time Efficiency

Faster Resolution: Mediation is typically much quicker than traditional legal processes, which can drag on for months or years. Since the parties are empowered to reach their own resolution, the process can be streamlined and more efficient.

Lower Costs: Mediation is often less expensive than going through litigation or arbitration, making it a more accessible option for many individuals or organizations. Reduced legal fees and the avoidance of a long trial process can make mediation a more practical and cost-effective solution.

7. Preservation of Relationships

Win-Win Approach: Because mediation encourages collaboration rather than competition, it helps preserve relationships. This is especially important in family, business, or workplace disputes, where ongoing relationships are essential. By addressing the emotional and practical aspects of the conflict, mediation can help parties rebuild trust and work together more effectively in the future.

Reduced Hostility: Mediation is designed to lower conflict and animosity, which can help improve the long-term dynamics between the parties involved.

8. Flexibility

Adaptability to Different Situations:

Mediation can be adapted to a wide variety of conflicts, whether personal, legal, or business-related. Mediators can adjust the process to suit the specific needs of the parties involved, which increases its versatility and applicability.

Creative Solutions: Since mediators help the parties explore different ways of addressing their needs, solutions can be highly creative and tailored to the unique circumstances of the dispute.

9. Higher Satisfaction with Outcomes

More Lasting Agreements: Since the resolution is mutually agreed upon, parties are often more satisfied with the outcome. They have ownership over the process and solution, which makes them more likely to honor and follow through on the agreement.

Increased Compliance: Because both sides have had input into the solution, there’s typically higher compliance with the terms of the agreement. It’s seen as something both parties "own," rather than something imposed upon them.

10. Cultural Sensitivity

Respect for Diversity: Mediators are trained to be culturally sensitive and can adapt the process to accommodate the cultural backgrounds, values, and communication styles of the parties. This can be especially important in cross-cultural or international disputes.

In Summary:

Mediation works because it creates a structured yet flexible environment for parties to communicate openly, understand each other’s perspectives, and collaboratively reach a solution. The neutral facilitator, focus on interests over positions, emphasis on confidentiality, and the empowerment of participants all contribute to making mediation a highly effective tool for resolving disputes and fostering understanding.

Is a solution always reached?

Unfortunately, not all mediations can come to an agreement. Mediation does take a good faith effort from each party to be able to work through the issue at hand. In court appointed mediations, this is called an impasse, meaning, “a deadlock or stalemate when the parties involved are unable to reach an agreement or resolve their differences.” In court appointed mediations, it is at this time that the mediator passes the case to the judge. Impasse can come about due to inflexible positions or unwillingness to compromise, external factors or people, one party not opening up, not sharing important information, or even power dynamics in the relationship. When these things occur, the good faith effort, or the desire to resolve the issue, is lacking, making it nearly impossible to come to a solution. Both parties need to be open to working through the issue or issues before coming to mediation.